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FINALLY, here is my contribution to this year's [livejournal.com profile] bandombigbang! My very first experience as a participant in such an official fic challenge. I feel rather as though it's my first day of school, and I've brought something precious for Show and Tell. /o\

Title: Roomba v2.0
Pairing(s): Pete/Patrick, secondary Brendon/Ryan
Word Count: ~17,000
Rating: R
Warnings: Deals with human/robot relationships, so there are some inherent dubcon issues.
Notes: A gigantic thank-you goes to [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, whose kickass beta skills straightened this story out and made it about 100x better. Thank you also to [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev, for your amazing pair of eyes and equally amazing [livejournal.com profile] piecesof_reeses-taming powers. And finally, thanks to our fearless mods! ♥
Summary: “Do you realize how pathetic it is that you’re asking me for advice on how to sleep with your cleaning robot?”

Part One | Part Two

No Assembly Required by [livejournal.com profile] pearldrop
Don't Turn Me On by [livejournal.com profile] angelsaves
Mix by [livejournal.com profile] tam_cranver
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Back to Part One

Part Two )

Back to Masterpost
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All feedback is very much appreciated! ♥
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE! I come bearing fic. Embarrassingly adorable and fluffy fic--perfect for the season, yes? :D

Title: Maybe You Can Sell Him On eBay
Pairing: baby Brendon/Ryan preslash
Wordcount: ~5,000
Rating: G
Summary: bb!Panic AU. "You know what we should do?" Brendon asks Ryan, eyes getting brighter. "We should get proof of Santa!"
Thanks to: the beautiful [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev, fairest in all of beta-land.
Author's Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] redorchids's Christmas Wish Exchange, in response to the prompt kid!fic in which Bren and Ryan try to catch Santa. I hope you enjoy, [livejournal.com profile] amyanonymous! ♥

“But Santa isn’t real!” Frankie folds his arms and glares at them. )
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So...This is kind of embarrassing. I was actually debating whether I should post this or not. Because, well, there's crack!fic, and then there's OMG-Brendon-and-Ryan-somehow-got-on-American-Idol-season-8-and-fall-in-stupid-faily-loooooove. *obligatory jazzhands*

Anyway! This is dedicated to the lovely [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev because I was trying to find a way to distract her from attempting to kill me. Apparently, forcing her to edit five college app essays in a row now counts as commonly accepted grounds for homicide. Oops? /o\

Title: Ryan Ross > Ryan Seacrest
Wordcount: ~6200
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan (and very slight Adam/Kris)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: American Idol AU. Brendon’s finally gotten his big break, and all he wants to do is make it to the next round of competition, but one particular faux hawk-ed, eyeliner-abusing asshole is making it kind of difficult to focus…
Warnings: Um, American Idol AU. I'm not sure if I can emphasize that enough. I remember when I used to make fun of this show. Yeah, times have changed. Also, tiiiny bit of dub-con.

Everything looks very shiny. )
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Holy shit, how did I manage to write something that needed a masterpost in the middle of the school year? Oh, right. My unending drive for procrastination. \o/

This has pretty much been my baby for the past four months, and you can't see me, but I'm wibbling a little bit as I send it out into the cruel world. Really, I am. *wibbles*

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Recession
Wordcount: 42,000
Pairing: Brendon/Spencer, (background William/Gabe, Cash/Singer, Frank/Gerard, Pete/Patrick/Ashlee)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: You know how Love Actually is pretty much the schmoopiest, most feel-good of all romantic comedies? Yeah, this is kind of like that level of schmoopiness, only worse. /o\
Summary: Office AU. Island Electronics is going down in a blaze of glory, just one more company that's fallen victim to the ruthless recession. Receptionist Spencer Smith and coworker Brendon Urie fight to save the company (and their incomes) as all around them, their compatriots succumb to the wrath of the fearsome Pink Slips.
Unofficial Summary: Really, this story just boils down to three things: stealth!closet-sex, pining, and ~conspiracy theories. Also, Star Wars.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Epilogue

Thanks to: [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev, my darling LJ-wife who patiently read through this 73-page monster over and over and helped me correct my outrageous sins in voicing and sentence flow. Also to [livejournal.com profile] redorchids, who was so amazing in helping me sort out the plot of this story, reading my multiple drafts, giving me suggestions, and most importantly, never giving up on my plotholes. A thousand ♥s to both of you.
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Epilogue )
All feedback is very much appreciated! ♥
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Well, it's September 7th somewhere in the world, right?

Man, this is pretty much the first time I've been able to get on the internet away from my parents. (/o\ I probably just gave away my age. Well, that's okay. My profile wasn't making a secret of it, anyway.)

My recession comedy/drama/whateverthefuck has reached the 10,000 word milestone, and I feel like that should be celebrated. Hopefully, it means that I'll actually finish it. With school looming in two days and my parents stalking my every move, that seems somewhat unlikely, but I will prevail! I just need a good theme song and a resourceful sidekick. :D

I'm willing to bet no one (except for my S.O. [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev) actually knows about my recession dramedy, because I've only mentioned it in passing on here all of one time. It's good! I mean, I hope so. Brendon/Spencer, which is a departure from my usual, but I'm crossing my fingers. Okay, I'm just rambling anxiously now. HERE, I will put a teaser snippet behind the cut. Enjoy?

Everyone likes office comedies, right? Right? )

So, um, yeah. *twists fingers nervously* This is unbeta-ed, of course. And, you know, subject to change. I should stop backtracking. Um.

Have a good Labor Day! ♥
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He is totally the prettiest member of Panic, y/y? SPENCER SMITH, you should come tilt those hips at me~! ;)
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SO. The love of my life, apple of my eye, everything that keeps me going each day--aka [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev--got this really shitty comment on a story from someone who didn't even have the balls to log in and say that shit.

To soothe her with the healing power of my cock writing, I dug a little something up from WIP storage, cut it up, cleaned it a bit, and slapped an ending on. Just a bunch of feel-good Ryan/Brendon schmoop, because that is her otp, and because I love her.

So here it is! My first fic post in ages. Enjoy. :)

Title: Because You Look Like A Jackass (or, Brendon's adventures in stalking!)
Wordcount: ~7600
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan, background Pete/Patrick
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not real. Do not own. Capiche?
Warnings: Swearing. Lethal amounts of schmoopy fluff. Really awfully awkward pickup lines and flirting!
Thanks and Dedicated to: [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev! She is the best internet-wife anyone on earth has the right to ask for. ♥
Summary: Apartment AU! Basically: Brendon's just moved into town. He courts Ryan Ross with flowery words and also a coat rack. He falls flat on his face.
Snippet: “I think I love you,” Brendon says suddenly, the words sounding a little too big and jagged and loud for the narrow street.

“I love you too,” Ryan says. “Also, my mom’s a llama and I birthed a puppy this morning.”

There’s someone following him. )
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Ugh. I am mad. Frustrated and mad. And also feeling stupid.

I really cannot believe that Miss fucking Venezuela won Miss Universe after giving that completely ridiculous, idiotic answer. Basically, after being asked about barriers women face in the world of business and other leadership positions, she says that there are no more barriers. Men and women are completely equal! CALL THE FUCKING PRESSES, JFC.

Just--wow. I am disappointed, and mad about being disappointed, because, hello, piecesof-reeses, this is a beauty pageant. So, yeah. Ugh. I am just really fucking (stupidly) upset. :\

In other, slightly happier news, I am finally writing again! Kind of. I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be able to finish it. It's a recession comedy, sort of. Although right now I have typed somewhat more angst than humor, but, well, whatever. Dramedy ftw!

Also. It's Brendon/Spencer. Which is a surprise to me, too. But it happened. And my poor beta, [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev, is just going to have to suffer through it. (She otp's Ryan/Brendon. Oops.)

Speaking of [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev! She's posting an awesome story reeeeally soon, just as soon as she makes all the corrections her beta (me :D) told her to make. It's a He's Just Not That Into You au, and, okay, I kind of despised that movie, but I liked that fic! WHICH MEANS Y'ALL SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY. \o/

So, yeah. Short, sweet update. Who here thinks Adam and Kris should just make out already?
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So...I told myself I wasn't going to do this. Several times, in fact.

But my self didn't listen to me. :(

So, yeah, apparently I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Post-divorce fic ftw! Happy post-divorce fic at that, too. \o/?

Title: only need two more miracles
Author: [livejournal.com profile] piecesof_reeses
Pairing: Ryan gen, Ryan/Brendon preslash
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~6600
Warning(s): A bit of drug use. NOT nearly as much as my cut text would imply. /o\
Disclaimer: Okay, so this is a lot closer to reality than most of my other fics, but it is probably 100% slashier, sorry to say.
Summary: Just another PATD fix-it fic, but this time from Ryan's pov. Because sometimes, being screwed up doesn't have to last forever.
Author's Notes: This takes into account a lot of the current canon we have, including some tweets and that MTV interview Ryan did.
Thanks to: [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev, my amazingly and fabulously lovely beta! You are the best cheerleader in all the world. ♥

#ryansacokehead )
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So. Long time no see, el-jay.


Anyway, I come bearing fic! Labor of love through many long hours, yadda yadda yadda.

Title: You Got A Crew? (I Got A Crew Too)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Brendon/Ryan; background Pete/Patrick, Jon/Spencer, and Greta/Gabe
Wordcount: ~24,000
Warnings: None. Swearing, I suppose.
Thanks to: [livejournal.com profile] chaoticallyclev, who cheered me on relentlessly, withstood my whining patiently, and, overall, is just a lovely human being! You are so awesome, bb. ;________;
Author's Notes: Um, I know nothing about hairdressing. And it probably shows. But--it's fic! Given with a healthy dose of crack. :)
Summary: AU. Every June, in the world of Las Vegas hair care, it’s all about one thing: the Annual Services Survey. Can struggling hairdresser Brendon Urie and his coworkers finally win over rival salon Cobra Starship? Shenanigans ensue as they battle it out, all while Brendon struggles to keep his eye on the prize—and away from that cute but prickly reporter.

Part 1 )

Part 2
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Part 2 )

Part 3
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Part 3 )

Oh yeah, and totally OT (but relevant in my time of need)--someone needs to talk me out of writing an epic, completely cracky American Idol fic. Stat. /o\ /o\ /o\ I don't even know how this happened, guys, swear.
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June 2012

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