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piecesof_reeses*crawls out of nest*
Hello, world! How are you all doing? Yesterday was kind of a crap day for me, for no reason in particular, but I'm very pleased it's Wednesday now.
Here, I will tell you all a story now. It's kind of embarrassing. On Sunday, my family and I went skiing. Let me...try to put that in perspective a little bit. See, saying that I am not very good at skiing is kind of like saying that Mount Everest is kind of large. Or that Adam Lambert is kind of not straight. Or that Ryan Ross is kind of pretentious. (I'm sorry, Ryan! I mock because I love.)
Anyway. I'm falling about ten times every hour, which means that everything is going relatively smoothly and according to plan. Then, in the face of such success (the baseline for success being no concussions or broken bones), I start getting fancier. I start turning, swerving right and left and right and left and everything is going great, honest, only somehow, on the fourth turn, I turn a little too much, and before I know it, I'm sliding down the hill. Backwards.
So, yeah, I guess you could say that at that point, I get a little nervous. My heartrate picks up. And I begin flipping the fuck out. All knowledge of how to stop correctly flies out of my head--why, oh why, didn' t I just bring the back tips of skis together?--and instead, in my adrenaline-fueled genius, I decide that the only way I can avoid certain death is trying to stop WITH. MY. HANDS.
Picture this tiny Asian girl, ass way up in the air, gloved hands scrabbling desperately at the snow as she flies down the slope. Yeah. That would have been me. I was bent completely in double in my quest to gain enough purchase on the icy slope (yeah, I still have no idea what the fuck was going through my head) with my hands to stop my Flight of Death.
Finally, my head clears enough for me to realize that maybe, just maybe, I should be trying to stop with my skis instead of my fucking hands. So I slowly, slowly inch them to the right until they were completely horizontal to the slope, and...I stopped. And at that point, I start laughing hysterically.
That is the end of my story, everyone. Luckily, no one but me witnessed it. I feel kind of stupid (the way that Tiger Woods probably feels kind of stupid right now) but mostly, I'm just happy to be alive. It would have kind of sucked to die while skiing backwards, ass in the air and freaking out like a lunatic.
It's almost New Year's! :D My resolution is to never go skiing again. Ever.
Hello, world! How are you all doing? Yesterday was kind of a crap day for me, for no reason in particular, but I'm very pleased it's Wednesday now.
Here, I will tell you all a story now. It's kind of embarrassing. On Sunday, my family and I went skiing. Let me...try to put that in perspective a little bit. See, saying that I am not very good at skiing is kind of like saying that Mount Everest is kind of large. Or that Adam Lambert is kind of not straight. Or that Ryan Ross is kind of pretentious. (I'm sorry, Ryan! I mock because I love.)
Anyway. I'm falling about ten times every hour, which means that everything is going relatively smoothly and according to plan. Then, in the face of such success (the baseline for success being no concussions or broken bones), I start getting fancier. I start turning, swerving right and left and right and left and everything is going great, honest, only somehow, on the fourth turn, I turn a little too much, and before I know it, I'm sliding down the hill. Backwards.
So, yeah, I guess you could say that at that point, I get a little nervous. My heartrate picks up. And I begin flipping the fuck out. All knowledge of how to stop correctly flies out of my head--why, oh why, didn' t I just bring the back tips of skis together?--and instead, in my adrenaline-fueled genius, I decide that the only way I can avoid certain death is trying to stop WITH. MY. HANDS.
Picture this tiny Asian girl, ass way up in the air, gloved hands scrabbling desperately at the snow as she flies down the slope. Yeah. That would have been me. I was bent completely in double in my quest to gain enough purchase on the icy slope (yeah, I still have no idea what the fuck was going through my head) with my hands to stop my Flight of Death.
Finally, my head clears enough for me to realize that maybe, just maybe, I should be trying to stop with my skis instead of my fucking hands. So I slowly, slowly inch them to the right until they were completely horizontal to the slope, and...I stopped. And at that point, I start laughing hysterically.
That is the end of my story, everyone. Luckily, no one but me witnessed it. I feel kind of stupid (the way that Tiger Woods probably feels kind of stupid right now) but mostly, I'm just happy to be alive. It would have kind of sucked to die while skiing backwards, ass in the air and freaking out like a lunatic.
It's almost New Year's! :D My resolution is to never go skiing again. Ever.
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Date: 2009-12-31 07:06 am (UTC)Also, we both have shitty snow adventure storied on the smae day!! yay \o/ !!